The Perpetual Three-Dot Column
The Perpetual Three-Dot Column
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by Jesse Walker

Wednesday, July 09, 2003
SELF-PROMOTION: Like most journalists, I'm actually a frustrated novelist. I occasionally produce short stories, and one of them -- titled "Aesop and the Tree" -- has just been published in the North Carolina magazine The Blotter. If you live in the right part of Tarheel country, you can pick up a copy at a newsstand; the rest of you will have to read it
online.


posted by Jesse 1:16 PM
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THIS BLOG ENTRY DOES NOT EXIST: Remember that Iraqi "children's prison" that was "liberated" a few months back? Turns out it was actually an
orphanage.

Two predictions:

1. The majority of the people who trumpeted the "children's prison" story will not feel bad about circulating what turned out to be misinformation, on the grounds that Saddam's regime did a lot of other bad things and, besides, it says here that conditions at the orphanage were pretty lousy anyway.

2. Despite that, almost none of them will cease to bash us folks on the other side of the war debate when we cite stories that are believable when they first appear but then turn out to be untrue. That's the way these things work. Everyone makes mistakes; everyone focuses all their attention on the other crowd's mistakes; everyone gets all self-righteous and declares that they'll never believe anything they hear from The New York Times/the BBC/The Wall Street Journal editorial page/InstaPundit/whatever again; no one makes the same declarations about the erring organs on their own side.

I actually believed the children's prison story myself, and I'm a card-carrying dove. So what does that make me? Open-minded, or just a more catholic sap?


posted by Jesse 11:16 AM
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Monday, July 07, 2003
SELF-PROMOTION: Today on the Reason site, a short
article on the pending occupation of Liberia.


posted by Jesse 4:24 PM
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PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE AFTERMATH: How come it's the least pleasant roads in America that charge admission?


posted by Jesse 1:34 PM
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Saturday, July 05, 2003
ANGRY GREEN GIANT: Why are so many people picking on Ang Lee's Hulk? They find the special effects unrealistic? Well, nothing here is as disappointing as the effects in Spider-Man, which basically turned into a video game whenever it was time for the action to begin; yet its reviews were glowing. They're annoyed that some of the fight scenes were filmed in the dark, so you can't quite tell what's going on? Lee did the same thing in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and no one complained but me. They don't like their superheroic action mixed with more "serious" themes? Then why did they flock to Crouching Tiger, whose chop-socky battles were interspersed with incredibly tedious ruminations on loyalty, honor, and other weighty matters? At least Hulk is actually about rage, repression, and distant father figures, rather than merely expounding the importance of such topics at soporific length.

Or is it, as some insist, because Lee is a middlebrow filmmaker, unable either to descend into pure pulp or raise it to high art? I hate to break it to you, but that's the Marvel formula. As Jonathan Lethem once pointed out, the classic Marvel comics of the '60s and '70s are mildly embarrassing to their now grown-up fans in a way their DC counterparts (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman) are not. Like a Yes album or a Harlan Ellison story, they aspired to be more than they were capable of becoming -- and were aimed at an adolescent audience not yet able to recognize the difference. They demand more than simple nostalgia, but they can't quite deliver what they promise. Before you can appreciate just what was good about them, you have to get past everything that's bad.

In other words, they're middlebrow pulp. Ang Lee is thus the perfect director for the project, and he has made, in my view, the best of the Marvel films.

It helps that this is more a monster movie than a superhero movie, and thus belongs to a genre with a longer history of being done properly. (Lee obviously realizes this, since he's filled it with plagiarisms-cum-homages to King Kong, Frankenstein, and other precursors.) It is, as a bonus, one of the most visually inventive films of the year, shot and edited with more playful energy than most summer action epics.

If you want a serious, complex movie about familial dysfunction, watch Capturing the Friedmans. If you just want some mindless action fun, then hey, I hear there's a new Charlie's Angels flick. But if you want a film that gets across the rich but essentially adolescent flavor of an old Marvel comic, you couldn't do better than Hulk.


posted by Jesse 1:26 PM
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Tuesday, July 01, 2003
CHAN IS MISSING: The Fox Movie Channel
says that it "will discontinue the broadcast of the Charlie Chan mystery films. Originally restored to meet the requests of mystery fans and film preservation buffs, Fox Movie Channel scheduled these films in a showcase intended to illustrate the positive aspects of these movies such as the complex story lines/ characters and Charlie Chan's great intellect....However, Fox Movie Channel has been made aware that the Charlie Chan films may contain situations or depictions that are sensitive to some viewers. Fox Movie Channel realizes that these historic films were produced at a time where racial sensitivities were not as they are today."

By contrast, my favorite cable channel, Turner Classic Movies, broadcasts these films frequently and without excisions. One of them actually had Charlie Chan onscreen with Steppin Fetchit, which I suppose is the racist's equivalent to teaming up Superman with Batman, Dracula with Frankenstein, or Domingo with Pavarotti.

Was it offensive? Yes, but it's also part of our history, and I'm glad it's available to those of us who happen to be interested in the past. Besides, one or two of those movies are actually pretty good, if you can get past the racial stereotyping. I recommend Charlie Chan on Broadway, a surprisingly well-crafted piece of pulp. Don't worry: It isn't the one with Steppin Fetchit.


posted by Jesse 6:20 PM
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Monday, June 30, 2003
SELF-PROMOTION: The August/September issue of Reason includes two brief articles by me: one about prison rape, in the Citings section, and one about communist art, in the Culture & Reviews section. There's also an exchange between Jack Kemp and yrs. truly in the Letters column.


posted by Jesse 6:16 PM
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MY READERS SPEAK: A fellow named Chris Thompson responds to my
column on the sodomy decision:

"I guess your opinion is all that really matters. So, go ahead, celebrate. You are finally able to put it where you have always wanted it and no one can say anything to make you feel guilty about being a freak of nature. I'm happy for you and your kind. May every evil of your preference be granted you, with my blessings."

I thanked him for telling me that my sexual preference is evil and informed him I would change my ways immediately: From now on, it's nothing but gay buggery for me. The Christian Right has made another convert!


posted by Jesse 3:55 PM
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Friday, June 27, 2003
SELF-PROMOTION: My new Reason column is about
sodomy.


posted by Jesse 4:40 PM
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STROM THURMOND, RIP: If he had died just a year earlier, Trent Lott wouldn't have had all these problems.


posted by Jesse 6:46 AM
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PABST BLUE RIBBON ON MY MIND: Miscmedia's Clark Humphrey has a
different take on the revival of Pabst Blue Ribbon:

Recent articles in the NY Times, the Wall St. Journal, and elsewhere have noticed the apparently sudden resurgence of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the national beer marketplace. The articles all credit PBR's comeback to an apparently instantaneous spike in the product's young-adult hipness factor, or to a stealth-marketing campaign to create such a hipness factor. None of the articles tells the real story:

In the '80s, both Pabst and Stroh bought up dozens of second-tier mass market beers across the country. They included Heilman's, Lone Star, Iron City, Hamm's, Schmidt, former national powerhouse Schlitz, and all of the Northwest's onetime Big Five (Olympia, Rainier, Heidelberg, Lucky Lager, and Blitz-Weinhard). Pabst bought Stroh in 1998 and decided to retire or de-emphasize all these legendary names. The plan was to use the strong distribution networks of these local beers to relaunch Pabst Blue Ribbon as a national major. Bars and taverns were given deep discounts and promotional incentives to switch from Pabst-acquired local brands and make PBR their principal swill on tap.

With the former Olympia brewery, the last of the Big Five, having closed last week, it's clear at least around here that PBR's comeback has little to do with street cred and nothing to do with the movie Blue Velvet. It has everything to do with the familiar themes of corporate consolidation and the homogenization of regional cultural landmarks.

Clark is being a bit myopic here: The boom in microbrews is an important countertrend, and while Iron City may be symbolically important to Pittsburgh and Lone Star to Texas, the fact remains that both beers taste like donkey piss. Still, if Humphrey's tale is true, it's amazing that none of the mainstream reporters covering the story picked up on it.


posted by Jesse 6:37 AM
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Tuesday, June 24, 2003
ISLE OF THE ROSES: One last note on
Rimini, from the Footnotes to History website: "In the early 1960s, engineering professor Giorgio Rosa constructed a platform eight miles offshore from the Italian city of Rimini. After a storm swamped the platform, another was erected in 1965. The 4,000 square foot platform boasted several businesses. The Italian authorities took little notice of the platform, since it was in international waters at the time, until May 1, 1968, when Rosa declared the platform an independent nation. Two months later, the platform was illegally occupied by the Italian Navy, who then illegally removed Rosa and proceeded to illegally destroy the entire country with dynamite. The Isle of the Roses is therefore, along with Carthage and New Atlantis, one of the few nations to be utterly removed from the face of the earth by military action."

Rosas then returned to the mainland where, according to Erwin Strauss' invaluable How to Start Your Own Country (Loompanics, 1979), he took to darkly declaring, "This country is all Mafia."


posted by Jesse 8:20 PM
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SELF-PROMOTION: In the Summer 2003 issue of The Independent Review, I
praise Gerd Horten's Radio Goes to War: The Cultural Politics of Propaganda During World War II.


posted by Jesse 4:58 PM
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WHAT I MISSED: An excerpt from one of several hundred unsolicited e-mails that piled up during my vacation: "The debates about the issue of creationism vs. evolution keep popping up, often in local public school board meetings....Creationism and evolution are actually both partly right, BUT BOTH MOSTLY WRONG! There is a 3RD ALTERNATIVE that is being systematically ignored and suppressed: SEEDING BY SPACE ALIENS! The TRUE ORIGIN for humans is the six-planet solar system that we call Vega, which is now the main headquarters for the REAL Galactic Federation that will soon be formally greeting us with a First Contact mass UFO landing."

Reminds me of when I came home from a different trip, many years ago, and promptly attempted to entertain my friends with a series of comments intended to be funny. "I can't believe," one soon declared, "that I actually missed this while he was away."


posted by Jesse 12:42 PM
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Monday, June 23, 2003
SELF-PROMOTION: Shortly before I left for Italy, the editors of CounterPunch asked me and several other writers to list our favorite novels written in English since 1900. The results are now
online.

Also: my recent review of All the Rave has apparently been reprinted in the Houston Chronicle, the Pittsburgh weekly Pulp, and a paper in Virginia Beach. And possibly other places, too; please let me know if you spot it someplace new.


posted by Jesse 9:09 PM
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BACK IN THE U.S.A.: I love Italy. I love America. I hate airports.


posted by Jesse 8:43 PM
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Sunday, June 22, 2003
REPORT FROM RIMINI: Five and a half centuries ago, Rimini was ruled by a crypto-pagan aristocrat called Sigismundo Malatesta, the only man consigned directly to hell upon his death by papal decree. He's left his marks all over this Adriatic city, most notably in the Tempio Malatesta, a bizarre and lovely cathedral, still in use, that we visited our first afternoon in town. Ezra Pound adored Malatesta -- partly, some have suggested, because he reminded the poet of his poorly chosen modern hero, Benito Mussolini -- and Sigismundo dominates a long stretch of Ezra's
Cantos. Pound fan Robert Anton Wilson then inserted Malatesta into the background of his very enjoyable novel The Earth Will Shake, as an ancestor of the protagonist. Who, in turn, visited the same temple we did:

The Tempio Malatesta had been built, in fact, to honor the last and best loved of Sigismundo's mistresses, Ixotta degli Atti, whom he had finally married. It had not one Christian icon in it, but contained a monument proclaiming Divae Ixottae sacrum -- sacred to the Divine Ixotta. When Ixotta died, Sigismundo Malatesta entombed her there, under a plaque saying "Ixotta of Rimini, in beauty and virtue the glory of Italy." The rest of the temple was dedicated entirely to the gods of ancient Rome.

If you can imagine a Barbary ape with pepper up his nose, Uncle Pietro said, you can imagine how Pope Pius II, the reigning pontiff, jumped and howled and screamed when he found out about this heathen temple....

"[Malatesta] supervised every tiny detail, even writing long letters to the artists when he was away serving as mercenary general to other princes, when he wanted to raise more money to make the tempio even more outrageously stupendous," Uncle Pietro said. "All the tracery, you will notice, consist of variations on the intertwining of his initials with hers -- S and I."

Sigismundo loves Ixotta: it resonated from every lovely statue and erotic painting to every soaring arch and illuminated column.

Wilson is taking some artistic license here. Everything he writes above could be true, was widely believed to be true in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, but is not necessarily regarded as true by most historians today. The entwined S and I, for example -- it looks like a dollar sign, and to some eyes might suggest a church built by a mad Objectivist -- does not likely refer to Sigismundo's love for Ixotta, if only because her name was usually spelled Ysotta or Yxotta while she was alive. Wilson has picked the historical interpretation that worked best for his novel, a perfectly legitimate thing to do -- but misleading if you're given to taking things literally. Lord knows (and maybe Ixotta does too) that the people who come to the temple to worship today do so in the name of Jesus, not some long-forgotten mistress to a Renaissance warlord.

Rimini is also a short bus ride from San Marino, a city-state bounded on all sides by the Republic of Italy. Long ago, it had to fend off Malatesta's armies; today it remains independent while Rimini is a demilitarized beach town.

For the most part, San Marino is an ordinary city surrounded by ordinary sprawl, notable mostly for an overabundance of car dealerships, but at the center of the statelet is a trio of stone towers, surrounded by shops, museums, mediocre restaurants, and modern-but-medieval government buildings. There's a Grand Fenwick quality to the place that I like, reinforced by the admirably low-key plaques in the museums. A set of archeological finds are described as "more or less important." Artifacts from a monastery are "not very high quality objects." And then there's this charming sentence: "No one knows what the original building actually looked like, but it must have been somewhat different to this." Someone in San Marino is either very honest or very bitter.


posted by Jesse 3:44 AM
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Friday, June 20, 2003
VENETIAN BLIND: From my aunt's apartment in Florence we took a train to Venice. It's quite a town: one part rickety Disneyland attraction, one part Italian Mall of America. Yes, there's good reasons to visit Canal City -- a great selection of modern art at the Guggenheim, the graves of Ezra Pound and Igor Stravinsky at an outlying island, a wonderful dinner my second night in town, a vague sense that at some point this was a real city rather than a vast tourist attraction. But it's definitely the most overrated stop on our trip, and I'm happy to have left it behind.

Now we're in Rimini, a pleasant little beach town with some interesting if largely forgotten history. More on this later...


posted by Jesse 4:14 PM
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Wednesday, June 18, 2003
THE ANARCHIST'S VILLA: Sergio the anarchist, my cousin Lisa's father-in-law, lives in a lovely villa in Antella, a small town near Florence. Seven of us are sitting in his dining room, drinking wine and eating vegetables grown just outside the door. Lisa and R. and I are due back in Florence, but it's pouring outside: There's been a heat wave since R. and I came to the city, and now it's been broken by a torrent of rain and hail. It isn't quite safe yet to drive down the hill to the city.

We're speaking a mixture of Italian, English, French, and Spanish that no one completely understands. Lisa comprehends the most of it, so she ends up playing translator a lot. You should come back in September, when we pick the grapes for our wine, Sergio tells us through her, and stay through November, when we pick the olives for our oil. September is the key month: Sergio's anarchist group will be holding an international bookfair then, in a space -- I don't think I got this part right, but I report it anyway -- donated by the city.

More often, Tuscan revolutionaries just take the space they need. The night before, Lisa and Sergio's daughter Leslie -- she's there too, drinking wine with us in the villa -- took R. and me to Il Centro Popolare Autogestito, the Self-Managed Popular Center: an abandoned elementary school that had been taken over by squatters and transformed into one of the Social Centers that dot the Italian landscape. There they provide free housing, especially for immigrants; a free kindergarten for the neighborhood; concerts; classes in cooking, dancing, and Linux. There are two such centers in Florence -- the city shut another down recently, while yet another was legalized, transformed from a squat into something more formal. "They do the only real social work in the city," I'm told by Lisa, who doesn't share their politics but likes what they do. (She's exaggerating, of course, but I take her point.) It sounds very inspiring, but my inner ideologue is disappointed when we arrive there and see, not a dinner or a concert, but a meeting in "solidarity" with Castro's ratbag dictatorship in Cuba.

I had
read that communists as well as anarchists were involved in the social center movement, but I had assumed that these were eccentric communists -- "autonomists," say, or maybe some Rosa Luxembourg types -- not Stalinoids. Nope. There's even a picture of Lenin inside, in place of the Gaudi-like art that apparently decorates other social centers around Italy. ("Betrayer of the revolution," Leslie mutters when she sees old Vlad's portrait on the wall.) This particular project was once more philosophically diverse, I'm told, but the communists eventually kicked the anarchists out. One consequence is the Castroites gathered outside. Another is that the squat is now self-managing in name only.

I could see why anarchists would want to build D.I.Y. alternatives to the welfare state. But why communists? Seems there's a tradition in this country of civic virtue among the Reds. Antella contains a casa del popolo, a community center sponsored by the group previously known as the Communist Party. The party's name and politics are now more social-democratic, but the casa is still there. Young people see concerts and movies there; old folks come to play cards.

We were going to get a tour as well of Controradio, a formerly (and maybe still?) unlicensed radio station that I'd written about in my book Rebels on the Air. But this fell through: I walked by the station, took a couple pictures of the front door, but never got to go inside.

I don't mind that. Back at the villa, the electricity flickers off and on. People light candles, pour wine, pass around tomatoes and bread and Pringles. ("Even revolutionaries like Pringles.") The rain slows and we climb into the car; and then, with water and mud, we slide down the road to Florence.


posted by Jesse 2:38 AM
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Sunday, June 15, 2003
EMPIRES, AND THEIR OPPOSITE: Everyone should spend time in a country where they don't speak the language, if only to learn what it feels like to be retarded.

We've been in Italy for nearly a week now, dividing our time thus far between Rome and Florence. Rome, famously, is imperial. Florence is the reverse. One city is filled with the beautiful remnants of a not especially beautiful past: enormous, imposing monuments to the bloody empire Caesar started. The other has a history no less bloody, but it was bloodshed on a much more human scale: a tiny republic whose constant feuds and revolutions produced a cultural legacy arguably as notable as Ancient Rome's.

Do I sound like a guidebook? Maybe a little on the pompous side? Sorry -- I don't know the last time I went this long without writing anything. Leads to bad habits. To ridiculous overgeneralizations, owing less to my actual experiences here than to my distaste for empires and my memories of Kropotkin's perhaps overly generous analysis of the medieval free cities. But there is a real difference between those Roman ruins, so giant and awe-inspiring and unlovable, and these narrow Florentine streets. This is a place for localism, for craft, for loving or killing your neighbor, but not for empire. I quote Mary McCarthy's excellent The Stones of Florence: "The popolo minuto or working class of Florence, excluded from representation in the big middle-class guilds, was nevertheless highly developed politically. The people of Florence were, in fact, too articulate, politically, for government to be possible at all; the threat of direct democracy or piazza rule was always present, and no matter how short the period of elective office (sometimes six months), it generally seemed too long. Nearly every form of government was tried out in Florence." The spirit of ancient Rome, minus the talent for conquest, was present under Mussolini. Italy's more recent history -- regional and political splinters, constantly falling governments, lively and sometimes violent anti-authoritarian revolts -- owes more to Florence.

Not that Rome is all that imperial these days either. All cities include de facto autonomous zones, but only Rome recognizes two of them as sovereign nations. There is the Vatican and -- less famously, and even smaller -- there are the
Knights of Malta, whose two noncontiguous Rome buildings are a full-fledged independent country with stamps, a flag, and diplomatic relations. R. and I stopped at one of their properties a few days ago, persuaded one of the Knights to open the gates, then snapped each other's pictures. I think this was the smaller of the order's two territories, leading me to wonder whether the Knights at the other building regarded this one as the sticks, a poor country cousin to the real heart of their nation, and if young Knights in the smaller structure dream of moving to the bigger some day and making their way in the world.


posted by Jesse 6:06 PM
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For past entries, click here.


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