The Perpetual Three-Dot Column
The Perpetual Three-Dot Column
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by Jesse Walker

Tuesday, November 05, 2002
A SURREALIST VOTES IN BALTIMORE: I hadn't planned to support the Libertarian candidate for governor, but I did: He and his running mate looked so lonely, the only third-party ticket on the entire ballot, that I just had to give them my vote. Besides, my original plans for the gubernatorial race were in tatters. I had intended to write in a certain acquaintance of mine, but she refused the honor when I told her my plan, informing me that if I really wanted to help her I could clean one of the bathrooms before she gets home from the late shift.

A series of more successful write-ins followed. If Fred Savage lands in Congress, he can thank me for doing my part. Other votes went to such fine fellows as God, Popeye, and (tipping my hat to the summer movie crowd) Spider Man; for attorney general, I wrote in MY MOMMY, who I can't imagine sending her eldest boy to prison.

Then came the initiatives, the vast majority of which were bond issues. What a pleasure, to hit so many No keys. It's what voting's all about, at least for us anti-tax curmudgeons.


posted by Jesse 7:50 PM
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