Wednesday, November 20, 2002
CAPITALISM, COWS, AND LSD: The things you find in weblogs! This week, my friend Sara Rimensnyder writes about Bill Niman, a California rancher who converses with his cattle, then charges premium prices for the beef. "If that isn't shining evidence of so-called runaway capitalism, I don't know what is," she argues. "We're so rich we talk to our cows!"
I'm not sure if that's true, but it's one hell of a line. It sounds like something from The Night Johnny Carson Dropped Acid Before The Show:
Johnny: So yesterday ... um ... man, me and Ed are rich.
Crowd: HOW RICH ARE YOU?
Johnny: We're so rich, we talk to our cows.
Crowd: (A few people laugh, one guy applauds. Much uneasy shuffling.)
Ed McMahon: Are you OK, Johnny?
Johnny: Holy shit, Ed. Now you look like a cow.
Doc: Number 23, boys -- and pronto.
(The band breaks into "Milk Cow Blues" as Johnny coerces Ed into a clumsy waltz. Curtain.)
Sara sampled Niman's beef, and reports that it "seemed pretty average to me." Kinda like Ed, come to think of it.
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